Sorry for the hiatus in entries but I have really been trying to focus on lab work lately. Mostly, I have been trying to put together and write a paper. The key word in the previous sentence is ‘trying’. It has really been a struggle to just get words on paper and I feel that the words I have been able to spit out are inadequate. I feel my words and my work needs to be meatier but I’m having trouble beefing it up. I think that some of my graphophobia results from this being my first first-author publication and firsts always scare me a bit. As I admitted in my 16 facts, I’m afraid of being wrong or of people figuring out that I am not as smart as they believe me to be. I think a small neurotic part of me feels like this paper (or my inability to put it together) will be the proof that my fears are grounded in some sort of reality and it is really a mistake that I’ve made it this far in science. Okay, so I’m a little dramatic and have anxiety problems, I know, but it doesn’t make these feelings any less real. Well, either way, this has to get done soon. I’m hoping to have a rough draft to my adviser by Friday (I just have half the results and all of the discussion to write, blurg). Oh and I was told today that I have to present at group meeting next Wednesday. So, long story short, I probably wont be updating the blog much in the next week or so. Sorry.
Send me energy.